xxxDUMBLEDORE loves HARRYxxx
by xxBEjrtnfTHxx
Summary: Dumbledore and Harry get togeth and Dumbledore is cheating on Harry! What will Harry do when he finds out? one-shot DD/Harry DD/Ron DD/Snape R&R *WARNING! WEIRD AND RANDOM!*


**_Authors Note: Hope you all like this it's a bit weirder than usual so... :s_**

**_Disclaimers: I own nothing :(_**

xXx Dumbledore loves Harry xXx

Harry Potter was studying potions in the dungeon when Dumbledore entered, closing the door behind him.

"Harry," Dumbledore said softly.

"Yes, Professor?"

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you since the day we met. The first time I saw you I knew you were the one for me."

Harry blinked.

"What are you saying Dumbledore?" he asked quietly, moving closer to Dumbledore.

"Harry…Harry I love you." Dumbledore blurted out.

"Dumbledore, I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything, Harry. Just kiss me." Dumbledore replied tenderly.

"Now lets take things one step at a time." Harry said.

"Of course. How foolish of me. Let me make it up to you by taking you out to dinner tonight." Dumbledore said.

"Dinner would be lovely." Harry replied with a small smile, taking Dumbledore's hand.

xxxOoOoOoOoxxxx

3 WEEKS LATER

Things had been going steady for Dumbledore and Harry, but soon they started encountering some problems. The whole school had found out about Harry and Dumbledore's relationship. Everyone had begun making fun of them, which made Dumbledore and Harry very upset. Things have been really tense between them since, which wasn't very healthy for their relationship.

xxxOoOoOoOoxxxx

Harry had been going to counseling sessions for the past week and he found it a waste of time. He was in a session now and Ron had been asking very strange questions.

"So, Harry, what's Dumbledore's favourite food?" Ron asked, quill in hand ready to take notes.

"H-his favourite food? I guess it would be Lemon sorbet sweets." Harry replied.

"Uh-huh. Very interesting." Ron murmured, writing in his notepad.

Soon it was time for Harry to go, and when he got home, Dumbledore was waiting for him.

"Hi, honey." Harry said, taking a seat opposite Dumbledore.

"Harry, we need to talk. I think it's best if we have a break from each other, so I'm leaving Hogwarts for a while. I hope you understand."

"Y-you mean you're breaking up with me?" Harry asked, starting to cry.

"No! It's just some time apart." Dumbledore said.

"Yes, right, Dumbledore. Whatever you say. As long as you feel it's the right thing to do. Just go." Harry said, getting up and running into his room in tears.

xxxOoOoOoOoxxxx

One month later Harry was looking out of the window and what he saw shocked him. Dumbledore was hugging Ronald Weasley!

Harry, overwhelmed by the events that were unfolding before him, fainted.

Harry was woken by a knock at the door. He got up, wobbling a little and headed to the door.

"Who is it?" He called.

"It's me, Ron." Ron's voice called back.

"I have nothing to say to you, Ronald Weasley." Harry growled, but opened the door anyway.

When Ron walked in, he noticed that Harry was holding his wand.

"You're trying to steal Dumbledore away from me! Crucio!" Harry screamed, waving his wand at Ron. Ron screeched in agony and fell to the ground.

"You'll never take my bumblebee away! Crucio!" Harry cried.

Harry stood over Ron and pointed his wand at his chest.

"Dumbledore is MINE! Avada kadavra!" A flash of green escaped from Harry's wand and Ron's cries died down into silence.

Ron was dead.

xxxOoOoOoOoxxxx

Dumbledore was having a picnic with Snape, who was dressed in a strapless, sparkly red dress, when he heard the news that Ron was dead.

"NOOO! RON!" Dumbledore cried and Snape gave him a comforting hug.

Neither of them noticed a dark shadow lurking behind a tree. It was Harry. (Feel free to add in your own dramatic sound effects).

Harry took a step forward and accidentally snapped a twig.

Dumbledore and Snape looked around but nobody was there. Suddenly Harry came speeding towards them on a pink bicycle. Ron's dead body was lying in the basket of the bicycle. Harry was panting and gasping for air.

He got off the bicycle and pointed his wand at Snape.

"Time to die, Snape. I know all about you and my saucy minx!"

Snape glanced at Dumbledore.

"Who's this, Shnookums?" he asked.

"Snape, darling. You know Harry Potter." Dumbledore replied.

"Ah, of course. I'm sorry, Shnookums, I'm blinded by love."

"Enough!" Harry cried. "Stupefy!" A red glow came out of Harry's wand and hit Snape in the chest.

Snape was killed instantly.

"SNAPE! DARLING! HARRY! You killed Snape and Ron!" Dumbledore shouted.

"Yes I did, Dumbledore. Now we can be together forever!" Harry replied. He took out a radio and the song _No Air _by Chris Brown and Jordan Sparks came on.

Harry got down on one knee and started singing it to Dumbledore. Once the song finished, Harry took out a ring.

"Albus, it's been a rough couple of weeks, but I believe that our love is strong enough to get us through it. Ever since I was born I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Oh Albus Percival Wulfric Brian_Dumbledore, will you marry me?" Harry asked with tears in his eyes._

_"It was love, Harry. Love that brought us together. But I must decline. You killed my Ronny nose and Snape. I can never forgive you for that." Dumbledore took out a dagger and plunged it into Harry' chest. Blood spurted all over Dumbledore and stained his beard red. Blood dripped down his face and soaked Harry's robes. Dumbledore yanked out the knife and found Harry's heart on the end of it, still beating._

_"Why, Albus? Why did you do it?" Harry asked weakly._

_"I haven't had a proper meal in weeks. I've been feeding off recycled toilet paper and one of Dobby's socks." Dumbledore replied. Suddenly Ron came back to life and sat up._

_"DRAGON BOGEYS!" he screamed, then he died again._

_Dumbledore and Harry glared at Ron's body. Dumbledore cleared his throat and turned back to Harry. _

_"Goodbye, Dumbledore." Harry muttered, then fell limp in Dumbledore's arms, his tongue flopping out of his mouth and his eyes rolled up inside his skull._

_"Goodbye, Harry." Dumbledore whispered, planting a kiss on Harry's forehead. He gently laid Harry onto the floor._

_Ron jumped up and started doing the worm, shouting "CAULDRON BUM! EDWARD SCISSORHANDS!"_

_Dumbledore rolled his eyes and they popped out and bounced down a hill singing ____Disturbia __in raspy voices._

_Dumbledore stumbled around blindly then took out a pair of new eyeballs from his pocket and pushed them into his eye sockets._

_He dragged Harry, Snape and Ron back to his house and put them into a cauldron full with boiling water. _

_He put in with them;_

_Chicken noodles, seasoning, broccoli, a wolf, a speck of dust, sausages, a sword, a Dolly magazine, carrots, a cows hoof, pigs intestines, steak sandwich, a printer, a mockingbird, a constipated ape, Will Turner, jet ski, tooth, salt and pepper and a hint of rosemary._

_He let them cook for 20 minutes then gave them a stir._

_He took out a bowl and filled it to the top with his stew. He got a spoon and ate his meal. He found it crunchy and slightly spicy. He ate the whole thing and burped._

_He realized that he had to dispose of the evidence, so he got changed into a pink bathing suit and skipped onto a diving board that just randomly appeared out of nowhere. He jumped off the diving board and landed in the cauldron. Then he battered himself with breadcrumbs and ate himself._

_When he was finished, the only thing left was his mouth._

_The End!_

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